The Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish Brigade
1. Anderson – Never ever has there been a United player that I have taken an instant dislike to and that I could never ever understand what others found in him that made their nether regions go all warm and fuzzy like this doofess. Clearly the least talented player to ever play for this club that cost over 10 million pounds. That round massive ass that wobbles when he runs has clearly been a bust and has shown absolutely no skill other than his ability to shield the ball when dribbling due to that enormous posterior. I just hate the fat little wanker. Every time you think he was taking a one step forward he would then go and take three giant steps backward. And that hair, God help me but I just hate athletes who wear ugly mops on their heads. I cannot wait until this ass clown is shown the door.
2. Ben Foster – I think everyone on here knows just how much I dislike Gentle Ben. Well in truth I don’t dislike him personally. I’m sure he is a fine lad but I do believe he is a truly terrible keeper and I was prepared to make enemies on this blog to prove myself right (Dan where have you gone?). Simply put, I have never seen a keeper at this level that lacked so many key fundamental attributes that it takes to be a top keeper at this level. The man’s technical mechanics and lack of intelligence was mind boggling. A decent shot stopper at close range, he just lacked in so much more. Terrible positioning, slow reactions and focus on long range shots, terrible distribution and mechanics and zero confidence and even less aerial ability and presence in the box. Nuff said. The only positive I can say about him is that he is a better shot stopper than Manuel Almunia, but then again, so am I and so is Lady Gaga. Foster is just bloody useless and the sooner he is allowed to prove it further with another club, the better off United will be.
3. Michael Carrick – Let it go down on record right now, I rather like Michael Carrick. Really I do. I think he has a decent skill set and he is good player. Problem is he is not United class. And what I mean by that is he is not good enough to be a starting central midfielder for one of the top 5 clubs in world football. Carrick is Spurs class or Aston Villa class, he is not United class. He is slow, has an even slower inability to react and just isn’t aggressive enough or confident enough in his own abilities to elevate his game in big games or on a consistent level. Yes he has had his moments and has shown at times that he belongs, but just when you think he is starting to make his name, he will go into a ten game sabbatical where he virtually disappears on the pitch never to be heard from. Incredibly frustrating and awfully dull to watch at the best of times. I honestly think he fits in the Berbatov category of a skilled player that plays at half speed and who performs better with clubs who are middle of the pack where the pressure is not so high and where expectations are not so great. I think it’s time for him to move on as we need to free up that position for a midfielder with ambition, pace, creativity and courage.
4. Dimitar Berbatov – Too bad life doesn’t imitate art. When I play FIFA 10 and use Berba exclusively in Pro mode he is a God equal to Cantona. I just get the most out of the guy. Unfortunately the same isn’t happening in real life. While it’s true he is incredibly gifted and creative, he does so at half speed and he clearly hasn’t got the bottle to handle the pressure of playing for a top team fighting for top honours. He was great for Spurs and for Leverkusen and amazing for Bulgaria because frankly, those outfits are not top of the line and the pressure to perform is not as great nor are the expectations. His style also mixes badly with United like pepper and sugar. But what has made me finally give up on him is his inability to lead alone up front and his apparent downturn in confidence. He simply has gone south and he has to go. Sad, because I really do like the poor bugger.
5. JS Park – This might be a surprise to many but the fact is I am not a big fan of this lad even though he works hard and does serve a valuable purpose as a role player. The reasons I want him gone is because Fergie has a love affair with the guy which causes him to play him far more than he should and also, as much as he is not my cup of tea, he does have value and i think if we were to sell him, we would get a decent price. His skill set is a dime a dozen in my books. A million Diarra’s, and Sissoko’s have it and for me it does not impress. Unlike many others, I am not in love with simple blue-collar work ethic. Football is also an art form and i love it when players also have skill to blend with their hard work. Although Park has improved in many departments, for me he is still found wanting. If he was used exclusively as a defensive shadow in games where a top winger needed to be guarded, I’d say keep him. The problem is Fergie uses him too often as an attacking weapon, which is just a joke. The rumor that he could be part of a deal that would bring Milos Krasic to United makes me salivate with joy. Too bad it’s only a rumor because unfortunately for me, Park isn’t going anywhere.
6. Rio Ferdinand - OK this one is a bit of a shocker but really, it isn’t. Rio has been a great player for us but he is now 30+ and is injury prone with a very bad back problem, which has left him in the same position as Ledley King. Jonny Evans may not be completely ready in my books but Rio no longer can be counted on day in day out. The reason we need to let him go is that he could still be sold for a decent amount now rather than later. Fergie has gotten rid of players who were younger and in better health when he felt their best was behind them. Why hold on to Rio when clearly his best days seem far behind. Chronic back conditions never get better mates. I have lived with the problem for 25 years and let me tell you, it’s even worse when you are tall. No surgery or physio is going to make his back respond 100% so he must go now while we can get something for his services.
6. Danny Welbeck, Zoran Tosic, Gabby Obertan - Simply put, clearly not good enough to be United regulars so let the lads go and make something out of their careers somewhere else. I am not one to waste time on semi talented youth when I am looking to fill the club with United caliber players.
7. Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, EVDS and Gary Neville – Yes they must go but give them all one more year. But also let them only be subs and part time coaches helping mentor our younger players. They all can still contribute but not at a full time basis. Let them have the odd start and use them off the bench but please Fergie, stop starting them game after game over younger and better players who need a chance to grow. Also, we must buy players who are better than them. Relying on them is a sign of how far we have fallen in recent times.
Players We Should Get
Obviously the group that should stay are all players not mentioned above. However, what about players who should be signed? This is not about who could be signed or who can be signed, but who should be signed according to me, the all knowing and ever so humble Grognard.
1. A Top Striker
Candidates for the job are:
a) Karim Benzema- Overrated and rather moody but stylistically and talent wise, he is the perfect type to partner with Rooney. He has excellent skill,s, a great finishing product and can play wide if needed. His attitude and lack of enthusiasm for our club is a concern however.
b) Edin Dzeko – A good striker but to be honest, I have never been sold on him and he is a notoriously slow starter as he has scored the majority of his last 49 Bundesliga goals in the second half of both his last two seasons. He also has a propensity to disappear in games much like Michael Carrick. Still, one cannot argue with his goal haul of late.
c) Fernando Torres – Why the Hell not? If he is to leave Liverpool, why not make Old Trafford his next destination. The perfect player to partner up front with Rooney and a truly world class player and the best looking female footy player on the planet.
d) Gonzalo Higuain – For the life of me I cannot understand why Real Madrid would want to part with a guy who has scored close to 30 goals for them this season? What a bunch of nut jobs. He is prolific and very talented although he can also be a bit wasteful. If he’s available, I say sign him. Despite what Maradona thinks, this guy is way better than Carlos Tevez and scores more than my next pick, Sergio Aguero.
e) Sergio Aguero – A truly gifted player who looks certain to go to Chelsea but who grew up a United supporter and who has as much talent as Messi in my opinion. How good would Messi be if he had Atletico's supporting cast of muppets servicing him? Aguero is truly dynamic and a perfect player for United's style of play.
f) Klaas Jan Huntelaar – Why the Hell not. He would probably cost very little and I still feel this lad can be a 20+ goal scorer in the Prem because he has the skill set to do it. What he doesn’t have right now is the team to do it with and the confidence, which has been destroyed due to signing with two teams that had no real need for him. I still believe.
2. An Attacking Midfielder
Candidates for the job are:
a) David Silva – Strong in the middle or on left wing and obviously very interested and flattered to be linked to us. A world class player who needs to get out of Valencia but who doesn’t fit in with the other two big clubs in Spain because they are already loaded at those positions. Can create, score and basically dominate with speed, finesse and imagination. Can take set pieces and has a good shot. We may have just lost him to Man City. A true shame, nuff said.
b) Milos Krasic – Known more for being a RW but has also played the attacking midfield role similar to the way Lampard plays at Chelsea. Fast, quick and with great dribbling and passing skills and is very aggressive. He also scores goals and leads by example. Great desire and great long blonde hair, I just know that somewhere inside him there is a German dying to get out. Also, he has stated that he would love to play for United.
c) Yoann Gourcuff – The player I want us to sign most other than Manuel Neuer. I love this lad’s skill set and his desire and imagination. Can do magic. Another Zidane in the making and a great set piece taker as well. Truthfully, I am amazed he has never sparked any interest in Fergie as he is truly a world class player and still very young.
d) Marek Hamsik – Very talented and a great goal scoring midfielder. Very aggressive and confident and has great creative and finesse skills which remind you of his idol Pavel Nedved. I just don’t care much for the tattoos. A sure sign for me that he needs to grow up a bit.
e) Mesut Ozil – On nobody's radar until this World Cup but mine. The great 21 year old German Turkish phenom has all the tools and can play nearly every midfield or forward position. Great striker of the ball and a great passer. Along with Toni Kroos, Thomas Mueller and Marko Marin, he is the future of German football and the heir to Michael Ballack's throne in midfield for Germany.
f) Rafael van der Vaart – A very skilled player who is totally wasted at Madrid and who would benefit greatly by being a starter on United. Has all the tools and has great creative sense to turn something out of nothing.
g) Wesley Sneijder – We won't get him but I still love the guy and think he is truly a gifted player who can play across the midfield and can use both legs very well. Problem is we never got him when we could have and there is no way he is ever coming to OT unless Mourinho comes and brings him along.
3. An up and coming Central Defensive Midfielder
The few names I like are:
a) Jack Rodwell – I positively get giddy when I think of this lad. Too bad he signed an extension with Everton. Reminds me of a young Michael Ballack but with a more tolerable personality. Box to box midfielder who can defend with the best of them, cover ground and also pass and score goals while moving forward. Really young and has a great future in front of him. Would be an ideal partner for Fletcher as both of them would make life for Xavi, Iniesta and the likes intolerable.
b) Hernanes – Not much is known about this great Brazilian midfielder in England but trust me, he is the real deal and he is still only 24 or 25. He is box to box, has great speed and passing ability and really specializes in long shots and great through balls. I personally love him but I also wonder if he would blend in well with the English game. Probably more suited for Spain.
c) Felipe Melo – Has been a bust with Juventus which tells me he could come cheap. He is a good player and an automatic selection in the starting eleven for Brazil. The consummate defensive midfielder but with a good shot too.
d) Ya Ya Toure - A good defensive midfielder who happens to be on the bench in Barcelona and who would start for most every other team. Personally I think he’s a far better player than Busquets but Guardiola disagrees with me. Needs a change and England would be ideal for him. I think Arsenal have the upper hand on getting him though. And as of today it seems he has signed with Manchester. Manchester City that is
4. A young but quality Central Defender to replace Rio
Candidates are few:
a) Simon Kjaar – Very good and very strong for his age. Could end up being the next best thing to Jaap Stam. A liverpool fan but we could cure him of the malady. Better than Jonny Evans in my books.
b) Gerard Pique – Lets just say I want him back. A great mistake by Fergie and one I will never forgive him for.
c) Neven Subotic of Dortmund and Serbia/ Tall, good in the air, powerful and adventurous in going forward.
5. A young world class Goalkeeper
Candidates are:
a) Manuel Neuer – For me the most talented young goalkeeper on the planet bar none. Has it all and can only get better. Outstanding shot stopping ability, commanding presence and reflexes and strong aerial ability and distribution. And he’s German. I guess that cancels him out in Fergie’s plans.
b) Rene Adler – Part Zwei of my German plan. Just read Neuer and you get the same thing with Adler. Will miss the World Cup because of broken ribs which might also make him cheaper to get. Is a life long United supporter who is perfectly suited for us and who has enormous talent and presence.
c) Hugo Lloris – I am more and more a believer of this lad. Not great at everything but what he is great at is shot stopping and reflexes. Could be better at distributing the ball and his aerial ability is good but not perfect.
d) Gi Gi Buffon – Why not? Arguably the best goalkeeper in the world and at 32, is still relatively young for a keeper and could give us five or six good seasons. Apparently he is open to a move to England too.
e) Igor Akinfeev – I like him but I am not in love with him. He is a good shot stopper but he is poor in the air, which for me is a no no for the English game (see PIG). Still his shot stopping, positioning and reflexes are lights out when he is on form.
And finally, the biggest signing of them all, Manager
Candidates:
a) Jose Mourinho – Reasons? He is fantastic, he is special, he is a winner.
b) Laurent Blanc – An up and coming manager who I feel has all the necessary skills and personality to succeed and survive at OT. Perhaps a bit too defensive minded, but his teams win. Too bad he will be saddled managing the lethargic French National Team for the next few years.
c) Pep Guardiola – If ever he needed a new challenge, I'd scoop him up. Sure he has talent at Barca but he allows them to play attractive champagne football and believes in that kind of football, which for me is just what we need. Give him the talent to work with and he will entertain us.
d) And as I am a big supporter of everything German, let me not forget to add the name of current German manager Joachim Low. A man that believes in positive attacking football and who has the necessary tactical edge to succeed and who believes in blending experience with youth as is evidence with the current German national side. Well there you have it.
-- The Grognard
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